Embrace
by homra-kid
Summary: "Misaki, the doctor said that the first trimester is usually the most critical—things like this happen and we can't very well control it." He interjected, trying his best to make her understand. He needed to reassure her somehow. "It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for our child's death."


**Embrace**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story they belong respectfully to GoRa x GoHands.

**Warning:** Themes of genderbending, heterosexual couple instead of yaoi for once and whatever, you know all that good stuff, some mild OOC-ness… If any of this bothers you then you have the option of not reading.

**Music:** "By My Side" by David Choi

**A/N:** While surfing the Sarumi tag on tumblr, I stumbled on Historicallyinnacurate's post and it said: "99% certain Rin and Gou are somehow the love children of Fushimi and Yata. _Somehow_." And then my best friend reblogged a post about someone's recent miscarriage a few minutes later )': The two posts really stuck to me and so I decided to put two and two together and just wrote this based on them.

o0o0o0o

Misaki's surroundings felt strange and distant to her.

When she first found out about her pregnancy, she had been shocked and angry to an extent but after the second week she began to realize how really happy it made her to carry Saruhiko's child inside of her.

Yes, it was unplanned and it had been reckless of them to have unprotected sex but Saruhiko loved her and she loved him, they trusted each other wholeheartedly. They were young but they had been through hell and back since their days in middle school, high school and Homra so the idea of starting a family together at the age of twenty after finally reconciling with one another became appealing as the weeks went on.

It felt like a dream, a wonderful, beautiful dream but when the bleeding and cramps happened out of nowhere, Misaki's heart gradually sunk until their second ultrasound confirmed their worst fears. They lost the baby and it was only eleven weeks old.

Saruhiko didn't know what to say when the doctor told them the news. He was in shock, there was no mistake but when he looked at Misaki, he knew she was heartbroken beyond comprehension. It hurt her even more when she asked how far along their child would have been in its development and when the nurse reluctantly explained that the baby would have already formed its arms, hands, fingers, feet, and toes—she crumbled even further in his arms and pressed her face into his chest.

He couldn't bear to leave Misaki alone in her fragile mental state so he took the week off. Lieutenant Awashima wasn't the least bit happy at first, but when Saruhiko hesitantly passed on the news to her, she told him to take as much time as he needed in order to help the Homra vanguard recover from their loss.

It had been a long, grueling process. Even after the week was up, Saruhiko's appearance at the office was scarce and he took to completing his work from the comfort of his dorm room where he could keep an eye on his grieving lover. Even though most of his coworkers were far from accepting of his choice in girlfriends, they were still sympathetic. They couldn't imagine what the third in command, let alone Misaki were going through but they sent their condolences nonetheless.

"Is there something wrong with me Saru?" Misaki asked one day. It'd been well over two weeks since it happened.

"No, there's nothing wrong with you." The bluenette replied. Dropping his papers down on the kitchen table, he got up and walked across the space that separated him from the ginger sitting, curled up on the couch. Instantly, he collected her small form, embracing her tightly. He'd been holding her more often lately, he wasn't the least bit fazed by her behavior though however his only worries were the lack of sleep she'd been having as well as a loss of appetite. He was pretty sure she lost at least five pounds by now.

"But I—I couldn't…"

"Misaki, the doctor said that the first trimester is usually the most critical—things like this happen and we can't very well control it." He interjected, trying his best to make her understand. He needed to reassure her somehow. "It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for our child's death."

The ginger clutched the front of his shirt tightly in the palms of her. Slowly, she began to shake and Saruhiko held her even tighter than before as he felt the first droplets of her tears soak into the material of his shirt. When she cried out, it was the first time in weeks that she screamed at the top of her lungs. He stroked circles into her back, urging her to continue letting it out until her voice was hoarse and when there were no more tears left to shed.

The next day, she finally managed to eat a full meal and Saruhiko knew that she was on her way to recovering.

o0o0o0o

Another week passed by without too much trouble (unless Misaki's bloody temper counted for something), only this time there is a bit of color and shine in the way Misaki smiled. It was a soft one, but she was healing, that was all Saruhiko could ask for. The couple slowly but surely fell into what felt like normalcy again after the first month passes. The bluenette returned to his office, though unwillingly the first few days and Misaki picked up a new hobby—photography to be more exact and so she busied herself with both digital and film cameras she got from Totsuka.

Although Homra was still important to the vanguard, Misaki continued to take on little work for them now that she was trying to figure out how to be not only a somewhat decent live in girlfriend but a hobbyist as well. It was a great distraction for her, but it could only last for so long until three months later she broke the news to SCEPTER 4's third in command.

"Saru, I'm pregnant again." She said out of the blue. Even though there was a hint of sadness in her voice, it didn't stop the bluenette from getting up and hugging her tightly.

Misaki was careful not to do anything physically demanding. She gave up skateboarding immediately after and Saruhiko added that manual labor was definitely out of the question. The first trimester was slow, even boring to a degree but neither one wanted to take any risks that would put their second child in harm's way, no matter how little it was. The bleeding happened again and though it was minor it still gave Misaki bouts of paranoia until finally at twelve weeks when they went in for their ultrasound, they heard their child's heartbeat. It was alive.

Into their second trimester, Misaki reflected on her life and the choices she made. A long time ago, she probably would have wanted to change something, at least one thing in the past but now she was content, she wouldn't have wanted another life other than the one she was living now.

As her stomach became round with their growing baby boy (they learned at seventeen weeks), Saruhiko suddenly developed an odd fetish for her belly. It was creepy sometimes, feeling the bluenette nuzzle his cheek possessively against her at least four times a day, morning, noon and night. Only when the baby gave a soft kick at him did Misaki smirk and it made the third in command frown considerably. His pride as an expecting father was already being challenged.

"Serve's you right." She said, snickering quietly.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue. "I can already tell he'll have your short temper. Great, just great." He rolled his eyes despite smiling though and when he looked down at the ginger, held captive by the brightness of her amber colored eyes; he pulled her by the waist and kissed her deeply. "Even so, I'll still love him but I'll love you more." He murmured against her lips.

"Stupid monkey!" Misaki snarled. "Don't say that, don't you dare love me more than this child you hear!" She exclaimed before balling up her right fist and punching him square in the stomach. After all, she was too fat and heavy with child to give him a roundhouse kick.

It was no surprise to anyone that Misaki gave him the silent treatment after that. Saruhiko had never looked so dejected before and it was only at the advice of Awashima and Kusanagi that he went crawling back to the ginger with a bouquet of roses in one hand and chocolates in the other to quite literally beg for her forgiveness.

Nine months of careful nurturing paid off when finally on February second, their son was finally born. A healthy, bouncing baby boy weighing at five pounds with thin gingery brown hair, a shade or two brighter than his mother's. They named him Rin, or as Misaki liked to call him Rin-Rin. Homra and SCEPTER 4 crowded much of the hospital's hallway to pay a visit to the new family of three and they were quite amazed by how attached the little thing was to his mother. Kamamoto teased about there being competition for the vanguards attention now but Saruhiko didn't care as he embraced his lover tightly and stared down at his son dreamily.

They were going to be a family. Despite their losses, the trials they had to overcome, they were going to be a family and that was the greatest gift that Saruhiko could ever want.


End file.
